


love you around the world and back

by peachymorklee



Series: love you around the world and back [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, mutual feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 16:36:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18528934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachymorklee/pseuds/peachymorklee
Summary: Taeyong loves Doyoung no matter where they are in the world.(but Doyoung is scared.)





	love you around the world and back

**Author's Note:**

> for my self indulgent dotae-supporter self. 
> 
> (I've had this short fic half done in my drafts for three weeks so here I am finishing it and posting it on the same day.)

**Thailand**

 

“Do you really have to film yourself shirtless for the vlog?” Taeyong’s attention redirected itself to Doyoung, who's teasing comment had interrupted Taeyong’s outro he was trying to film.

 

“Shut up, I’m just filming myself from the neck up,” Taeyong retaliated as he turned the camera off.

 

He had completely forgotten to film some more for their Thailand vlog and he would’ve gone to bed without doing so if not for the fact that he barely had any footage to turn in to the staff in the first place. Therefore, he decided on some last minute filming while he was shirtless and had a facemask on. He looked silly but there was no denying that the fans would squeal at the sight of his collar bones and messy hair.

 

“Why are you bothered? Does my body fluster you, Doyoungie?” Taeyong’s eyes closed into slits, staring accusingly at the younger boy who was sitting in bed.

 

Doyoung scoffed. “Fluster me? No. _Bother_ me? Yes. I feel like I have to cleanse my poor eyes!” Doyoung dramatically gouged at his eyeballs, wailing a little for added effect.

 

Taeyong’s signature laugh filled the room which immediately brought a smile to Doyoung’s face. Taeyong often wondered if those smiles were because of him.

 

“Ah, I’m tired,” Taeyong let out a loud sigh before walking towards the bathroom where he removed the face mask. He patted the remaining serum from the mask onto his face—Thailand had been a little too dry for his skin this time around.

 

When he returned from the bathroom, Doyoung was rummaging in his bag, obviously looking for something.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“I’m looking for my charger but I can’t—” Doyoung let his head hang back, exasperated, “I _swear_ I put it in here.”

 

“Well how do you expect to find it when your bag looks like it practically exploded from all this stuff. Seriously, you could’ve at least tried to fold your clothes.”

 

“I don’t need you nagging at me and they _were_ folded.”

 

“Sure,” Taeyong shuffled over to stand beside the frustrated Doyoung, close enough for their shoulders to brush.

 

Taeyong’s heartbeat picked up instinctively as it always did when he was in close proximity to Doyoung.

 

“Do you want me to help?”

 

His question was ignored by Doyoung’s celebratory exclamation. “Aha! Found it!”

 

Taeyong rolled his eyes but he froze when Doyoung turned around to accidentally come face to face with him. The younger’s gummy grin faltered as he took in the lack of space between the two. Taeyong himself couldn’t get his body to move—that is, if he even wanted to.

 

Taeyong’s mind blanked as if it didn’t know how to function properly when the younger boy was involved. Everything about Doyoung was mesmerizing—his smile, his eyes, his hands, his voice, just _him._

 

Taeyong couldn’t help himself, his heart was in complete control at the moment. His fingers reached up to gently brush against the puffs underneath Doyoung’s eyes. _Cute._

 

Doyoung’s breath hitched at the action. It seemed too endearing because, well, it was.

 

“Hyung,” Doyoung’s voice came out hoarse, so quiet that Taeyong wouldn’t have heard it if his entire being wasn’t focused on the boy in front of him.

 

“ _Hyung,_ ” this time Doyoung’s voice was more adamant after Taeyong remained still. He softly pushed Taeyong’s hand away, which was enough to to break him out of his trance.

 

“I’m sorry—”

 

“We agreed,” Doyoung exhaled, taking a step back from the other.

 

Taeyong tried to keep the hurt from reaching his eyes. He felt bad for putting Doyoung in these situations but he just couldn’t help himself sometimes. He cared too much for the younger.

 

“I know, it’s just- it’s hard for me, okay.”

 

“I know that.”

 

“Do you?” Taeyong glanced up to stare at Doyoung but the latter avoided his gaze.

 

“Why are you so afraid? Do you really think that our friendship is that weak? That it would fall apart if we dared to go a step further and-”

 

“No. Don’t try and make me seem like the bad guy here, hyung.”

 

“Doyoung-”

 

“You promised me that we would remain professional. We can’t go a step further, I’m sorry. Doing so would make things weird. What if we broke up, huh? How do you think that would affect us or our group?”

 

Taeyong rubbed a hand down his face. Doyoung was right and he somewhat hated him for it. Taeyong wanted to argue, ask what if they didn’t break up, if they stayed together. But he didn’t because he knew that doing so would only piss Doyoung off even more.

 

“Okay, I’m sorry. I- you’re right.”

 

Doyoung’s shoulders drooped, the previous tension releasing. Taeyong saw his eyes softening, probably worried he was too hard on Taeyong(but he could never be too hard on Taeyong).

 

“I didn’t mean to sound too harsh-”

 

“Hey, you weren’t, okay? It’s all fine,” Taeyong reached up to pat his shoulder, “let’s go to bed. We have the SM Concert tomorrow so we should rest up.”

 

Doyoung nodded at that, grabbing his sleep wear from his bag before heading to the bathroom to change.

 

Taeyong watched him walk away, huffing once the door was closed. They had had this conversation before and although Taeyong wasn’t as heartbroken as the first time, the small pang in both his chest and gut were enough to have him hiding away underneath his bed covers before Doyoung could come back out and spot his teary eyes.

  


**Chile**

 

“Mm, this is my kind of vacation,” Yuta murmured beside Taeyong.

 

The group was visiting a vineyard today, one with breathtaking scenery that could be used as the perfect backdrop for the selfies their managers mandated they take; however, Yuta’s comment most likely referred to the fact that they all would be wine-tasting today.

 

The tour guide had previously allowed for them to wander around and explore the land. Johnny had taken this opportunity to take still-pictures with his professional camera while the other members were picking some grapes off the vines to taste(they had been too sour to enjoy, though). Now, they were all being called to regroup.

 

The members reassembled in front of a wooden stand that displayed various bottles of wine and shiny wine glasses. Taeyong could hear some of the members squeal at the sight of alcohol, to which he rolled his eyes. He didn’t blame them for wanting to wind down with some drinks—they had all been pretty busy, after all.

 

“Okay, so this is the vineyard’s special bottle of white wine and it has been chosen as tourists’ favorite,” the translator explained as a female guide began to pour said wine into the glasses and distribute them to the members.

 

Taeyong swirled the wine in his glass around as he has seen people in movies do. He took a whiff, a strong unfamiliar smell smacking him in the face, before taking a small sip.

 

“Wow,” Taeyong coughed a little, his tongue not used to the taste at all.

 

Doyoung laughed at his hyung’s expression before he took a swig of his own. The younger’s face scrunched up, causing Taeyong to laugh this time.

 

“That’s what you get for laughing, Doyoungie!”

 

Doyoung merely stuck his tongue out playfully, putting his glass down on the stand. Taeyong saw that as a sign of defeat but he himself pushed through until his glass was empty of the aged grape juice. By the end of it, his taste buds were begging for mercy.

 

The glasses continued to be filled with expensive wines and emptied out by the members until the tour was over and they all had to go back to their hotel. Taeyong, being the lightweight he was, could feel the buzz from the alcohol by his third glass; therefore, he was practically wasted by the end of the day.

 

The members were shoved into two vans, Taeyong found it fortunate enough he got to sit next to Doyoung.

 

“You’re such a cute bunny, Doyoungie,” Taeyong cooed as he threw himself atop of the younger boy who was seemingly unphased by his hyung’s adorable nature.

 

The members knew each other like the back of their hands after years and years of training and living together; their drinking habits was just one of the many things they came to learn about one another.  

 

“Aish! I just wanna pinch your,” Tayong hiccupped, “cheeks! Can I?”

 

“Why do you ask when you’re already doing it,” the other murmured, cheek between Taeyong’s thumb and index.

 

Taeyong stared at Doyoung hard, making the other uncomfortable, before he blew in the younger’s ear.

 

“Yah! What was—”

 

“Such a brat,” Taeyong whispered before wrapping himself around Doyoung’s left arm, head on his shoulder.

 

Doyoung remained still, probably thinking that a cuddly Taeyong was better than a cutie, talkative one that cooed about _everything_ Doyoung.

 

“Wooow,” Yuta turned around his seat to look at the two boys, “I’ve discovered the secret to TY and Dons’ relationship. They only get along when they’re not sober.”

 

Yuta cackled at his own joke but it was cut short when Taeyong kicked the back of his seat and hissed a quiet ‘ _shut up.’_

 

Taeyong snuggled even closer to Doyoung, trying to secretly smell the younger’s cologne. His heartbeat filled his ears and his stomach could've been considered a gymnast with the way it was jumping around inside but he endured it, he endured it all. Because this was Doyoung.

 

Doyoung cleared his throat, shuffling a little in his seat, which caused Taeyong to lift his head and study him. The younger was beet red and although Taeyong would’ve liked it to have been because of him, he knew it made more sense to attribute it to the alcohol.

 

Doyoung turned to meet his gaze momentarily, offering a crooked smile that Taeyong gladly returned. His heartbeat picked up speed(which couldn’t have been healthy, really) and he ducked his head back onto Doyoung’s shoulder. Taeyong was full of contempt.

 

He wished the night would never end. And if it had to, he wished that he could at least end it with Doyoung.

  


**Seoul**

  


Taeyong and Jaehyun’s chuckles filled the backstage hallway, their bodies still high on adrenaline from successfully pulling off their second concert of their Origin Tour. One would expect to feel tired from performing for two hours non-stop, but Taeyong felt the exact opposite. He could practically run fifty miles from how ecstatic he felt.

 

The two boys walked into their dressing room only to find Doyoung already changed out of his concert outfit, wiping his makeup and sweat off with a wipe.  

 

“Oh, hyung, why aren’t you with the others in the cafeteria? You should’ve cooled off first,” Jaehyun said.

 

Doyoung ignored them both, continuing to scrub at his face.

 

“Doyoungie, come on, Jaehyun and I were on our way to the cafeteria. We could grab some drinks? I heard they had melon popsicles—”

 

“I had some water already.”

 

Taeyong’s eyebrows furrowed at the younger’s curt interruption. Taeyong stared hard at the other but the latter kept his back turned, yet another wipe in his hand as he began to rub at the eyeshadow on his lids.

 

“Jaehyun,” Taeyong murmured to the boy beside him, “why don’t you go ahead without me. We’ll meet you guys later.”

 

Jaehyun didn’t bother questioning the situation. “Sure, I’ll save you both a melon bar.”

 

With that, the youngest of the three walked out the room and into the direction of the cafeteria. Taeyong remained quiet, allowing Doyoung a chance to speak first; Doyoung stayed mum.

 

“Doyoungie, is something wrong?”

 

Taeyong heard the other let out a sigh but no words followed.

 

“Come on, we just finished our second concert day! Shouldn’t you be celebrating with us?” Taeyong dared to stand beside Doyoung, finally catching a glimpse of his face—the younger was frowning.

 

“Doyoungie, why are you upset? I didn’t even have time to bother you during the concert. Or maybe you’re upset _because_ I didn’t bother you and instead played with Jaehyun? It’s called fanservice, Do—”

 

“I’m tired. Am I not allowed to be tired, _Leader-nim_?” The title stung Taeyong a bit but he proceeded.

 

“You’re allowed to be tired, but what you’re not allowed to be is disrespectful.”

 

“Well then, I sincerely apologize, so can you please leave me alone and go play around with Jaehyun.”

 

“So it is about Jaehyun. It’s fanservice Doyoung.” Taeyong crossed his arms, attempting to catch the younger’s gaze.

 

Doyoung scoffed as he rolled his eyes. “Can you please leave me alone?”

 

“No, not until we clear this up. I was messing around for fanservice, I don’t like Jaehyun-”

 

“Have you ever considered that maybe you don’t like _me_?”

 

Taeyong paused at the sudden question. “What?”

 

“I’ve thought about that,” Doyoung took a couple steps away from Taeyong so he could lean back onto a nearby table, “how you may actually like the _idea_ of me, instead. This is all a game for you. The pushing and pulling, it’s all a challenge and you’re set on winning.”

 

Taeyong uncrossed his arms and took a step forward before choosing to stay in place. “Doyoung, no, what you’re saying- it- it doesn’t make sense.”

 

“Doesn’t it? Sometimes I wonder that if I was easier, if I didn’t tease you, you wouldn’t bat an eye at me.”

 

Doyoung’s voice was cracking and Taeyong could tell that the younger was getting frustrated with himself. Taeyong willed his legs to move until they landed him directly in front of Doyoung. Due to the younger half-sitting on the edge of the table, Taeyong found himself to be a head taller than Doyoung; this also meant that Doyoung could duck his head away from Taeyong’s gaze.

 

“Doyoung,” Taeyong tilted Doyoung’s chin up only to be met with teary eyes. “I like you for _you_ , not because of our fights or petty arguments. You’re more than that. _We’re_ more than that.”

 

Doyoung stood abruptly making Taeyong stumble backwards.

 

“Are we, though? Is there really something more between us than our ’Tom and Jerry’ dynamic? Or is our entire relationship based solely around this stupid concept? Bickering is all we’ve ever done, hyung! We disagree on something, we argue, we give each other the silent treatment, we cool off, and then we do it all over again!”

 

“Doyoung—” Taeyong wished he would stop. He wished he didn’t have to hear those words. They made his heart heavy, they suffocated him. But it hurt even more to know that Doyoung felt like this in the first place.

 

“And it’s stupid but I go along with it. I keep pestering you about the tiniest things because I’m scared that if I don’t, you would lose interest. I would be too boring for you.”

 

“Doyoung—”

 

“When you confessed about your feelings, I couldn’t believe it. I told myself that it didn't make sense for you to like me as more than just a friend. So I pushed you away so that I could spare myself of getting hurt later on.”

 

Doyoung swiped at the tears that had since started to fall. Taeyong himself began to feel pressure behind his own eyes as well.

 

“I- I won’t keep playing this game with you anymore.”

 

Doyoung stormed out without another word. The high from the concert was finally gone, leaving Taeyong feeling empty.

 

Taeyong thought about Doyoung; he had always described the younger as glass, ever since their rookie days. Never once had Taeyong realized that the younger was cracking because of him.

 

But with today’s events, Taeyong was sure that he’d now completely broken him.

  


**Japan**

  


It had been exactly five days since Doyoung’s confrontation. Since then, Doyoung hadn’t spoken a single word with Taeyong nor did he give Taeyong a chance to speak to him. To the other members, they saw the ordeal as regular Doyoung and Taeyong routine. Taeyong, however, wanted more desperately than ever to end the whole silent treatment. Luckily, he had a plan.

 

Today was their first day in their Japanese leg of their Origin Tour—their first stop, Osaka. Most importantly, though, it was Doyoung’s birthday. This meant that Taeyong had the perfect opportunity to confess his feelings for Doyoung for the second time—hopefully this time Doyoung would understand the genuineness of it. I mean, surely Doyoung wouldn’t push Taeyong away on his birthday; he wasn’t that cruel and petty, was he?

 

Taeyong headed out into the hallway and towards the backstage cafeteria in search of a certain Canadian boy. The group had an hour and a half before showtime but they were already dressed, hair and makeup done. The members spent the remaining time preparing their bodies, eating small portions and drinking bottles and bottles of water. There was no doubt Mark was there with the others.

 

“Mark!” Taeyong found the boy, who was of course munching on some apple slices.

 

“Hyung,” Mark responded less enthusiastically, too busy chewing on his pre-concert snack.

 

“I need you to tell Doyoung that one of our stylists is waiting for him in the makeup room.”

 

“Why don’t you tell him?”

 

Taeyong puffed out his checks, not in the mood for Mark’s questions. “Because, we’re not on best terms at the moment, he barely gives me the time of day.”

 

“Oh right,” Mark grinned at his hyung’s despair. Taeyong found him too cute to get angry.

 

“Okay,” Taeyong was about to walk away before Mark pulled him back.

 

“Wait, aren’t you gonna eat with the rest of us?”

 

Taeyong turned to look at the other members, all of them were gathered at the food table and mini fridge. Doyoung was there too, talking with Jungwoo.

 

“Um, I already ate some pretzels. I just have to use the bathroom real quick. I’ll be back,” Taeyong smiled and walked away before Mark could get another word out.

 

Taeyong hurried in the direction of the makeup room, which he found to be empty of any staff. He hoped Doyoung would be quick to get here. Taeyong’s heart picked up speed at the mere thought of confessing once again to Doyoung. The first time hadn’t gone as expected.

 

The first time he had confessed, Doyoung had hinted at the fact that he felt the same way as Taeyong did. However, Taeyong’s elated heart immediately came to a halt when Doyoung made it clear that he had no intentions of acting on them. Doyoung wanted to be professional. Taeyong respected that. But after what happened five days ago, now Taeyong knew Doyoung was afraid. Doyoung was scared that Taeyong wouldn’t love him sincerely and that he would lose interest and leave him.

 

Taeyong was going to prove him wrong.

 

Taeyong’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of incoming footsteps and he hid behind the door. Sure enough, it was Doyoung. The younger walked further into the room, noticing that it was empty. Taeyong was quick at shutting and locking the door, startling Doyoung in the process.  

 

“Hyung! God, you- what the hell are you doing? Where’s the stylist?”

 

“There is no stylist. I made Mark tell you that so that you would come meet me here.”

 

“And why would you do all that?” Doyoung rolled his eyes, already crossing his arms in defense.

 

“Because you wouldn’t have come here if I had asked you directly.”

 

Doyoung stayed quiet at that. Silence meant agreement when it came to arguing with Doyoung.

 

Taeyong leaned against the door for support, swallowing the growing lump in his throat down. “I want to confess.”

 

“What?”

 

“I- I like you Kim Doyoung.” Taeyong stared straight at Doyoung, which was a feat itself. “And I would appreciate it if you could at least hear me out.”

 

More silence.

 

Taeyong proceeded.

 

“When I told you that I liked you the first time I meant it. And I still mean it now. It would be embarrassing to say how long I’ve been harboring these feelings for you so I’ll just say that it’s been a long while. The day I realized that what I felt for you was different than what I felt for Mark or for Johnny or for everyone else, I was afraid, just like you are now. I was afraid because I thought that you wouldn’t feel the same.

 

“So you can imagine how relieved I was when I found out that you felt the same, or at least to some extent, I guess. The same way you gave me hope, you took it away just as quick because you claimed you wanted to remain professional. I tried to respect that, I _really_ did, but you couldn’t have expected me to just throw my feelings for you away, Doyoung.

 

“It just wouldn’t work like that. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop the way my heart raced when I looked at you or when when you smiled or when you laughed. You once said that it would always be you, in fact you said it right here in Osaka. Do you remember that? You have no idea how right you were all those years ago.

 

“Because you’re more than my member, more than my best friend, _more than the tom to my jerry_. I- I don’t just like you Doyoung-ah, I love you and if I could express the magnitude of what I feel for you, I would, but it would be impossible to put it into words.”

 

Taeyong attempted to catch his breath; he hadn’t meant to speak for that long but it was like once he started he just couldn’t stop. He could talk for days as long as it was about his feelings for Doyoung or just Doyoung himself.

 

On the contrary, the younger hadn’t said a word. The one time Taeyong wanted Doyoung to say something, the younger finally learned how to shut up.

 

“So show me.”

 

Taeyong’s breath hitched. Maybe it was the way Doyoung’s voice sounded, all soft and sweet; maybe it was the way Doyoung stared at Taeyong, his eyes glimmering, bunny-like; maybe it was the way his lips looked, pink and inviting. Whatever it was, it had Taeyong pushing himself off the door and striding across the room until his lips met Doyoung’s own.

 

Taeyong’s arms latched around Doyoung’s neck, hands tangling into the younger’s hair. The kiss was slow yet passionate—Taeyong hoped it conveyed everything he felt and more. After a couple lip bites from both parties, the two had to seperate for some much needed air. Taeyong kept Doyoung in his arms so that they could press their foreheads together.

 

“I love you,” Taeyong whispered.

 

And not a heartbeat later, “I love you too.”

 

“Happy Birthday, Doyoungie.”

 

Doyoung giggled at that, his gummy smile making an appearance.

 

“You know something?,” Doyoung murmured, “I thought you were my Tom and I was your Jerry.”

 

Taeyong silenced Doyoung’s snickers with another kiss, yet he couldn’t stop the smile from spreading onto his lips.

 

Taeyong wanted to say that it didn’t matter who was Tom or who was Jerry; what mattered was that Taeyong was Doyoung’s and Doyoung was his.

  
  
  


(Doyoung eventually did end up needing to see a stylist after his hair was left a mess due to a certain someone's grabby hands.

 

Taeyong merely blew him a kiss and promised him another _birthday gift_ once the concert was over.)

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh, yes, another canon divergence fic. this time it's dotae tho! don't be afraid to leave any comments,,,I would really appreciate any feedback,,,thanks for reading!!!<3


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